Yes, I’m starting this article by quoting Joey Tribbiani from Friends. Aren’t you impressed by my choice of philosopher and cultural reference?
For some reason, I remember the episode vividly. Phoebe is desperately trying to prove that there is such a thing as a selfless gift, and that having her brother’s children was selfless. (She was a surrogate! Don't freak out please ;) ) But Joey explains that this was a selfish act
Joey says, "Well, giving those babies made you feel good, no? - so it's selfish. There is no unselfish good deed"
Well. He has some wisdom here in my opinion.
Don't you think?
The joy that you have when you give something that you love is so beautiful, that you receive as much as you give. Sure, from the materialistic point of view, there is a receiver and a giver, but ultimately, from an energetic point of view, in an exchange of a gift there is no giver or receiver... there is only a communion.
I gave a lot of things in my life, and when I was a child this would make my mother wondering. I can still hear her asking me "Why did you give away your favorite shoes? You love those!” Or quite upset, because when I was very small I stole some gum in the supermarket to give to everybody in the store. Sorry mum!!! ;)
Please, don't get me wrong. My choice to give isn’t a virtue signal, it doesn't make me an angel at all. Anybody that knows me would tell you so. I just experienced the superpower of giving and meditated upon it.
If the shit hits the fan, you can be certain that I will give something to someone and say thank you. Because giving would offer me a sense of control. I can't control the events of my life... that's a euphemism, but I can acknowledge that something really sucks, ask myself if I can do something about it and if not, let it be and focus on something else!
Because most probably at that time, I’ll need a dose of dopamine, so offering a gift makes sense! :)
The little girl in the supermarket wanted to feel the happiness of being kind. So yes, you can use kindness as a drug.
Most of the time, when we practice Reiki people would say: “thank you for giving me the session” - yes we offer a space, our time and the practicality.
But, ultimately... there is no such thing as giving a session. And as a practitioner, we receive as much as we give.
Can you imagine how tired we would be, if we were "giving" energy. No way! And yes, we say thank you for the gift of the person who is there to receive Reiki. Just being vulnerable and open, giving us the occasion to be helpful... Just that deserves a big thank you!
A beautiful one recommended a book to me : Mutant Message Down Under by Marlo Morgan.
If you haven't read it, go for it.
This passage stood out to me:
“According to the tribe, a gift is only a gift when you give what the person really wants.
It is not a gift if you give them what you want them to have.
”
A true gift has no "strings attached".
If I give you something, I don't expect to have a full report on what you are doing with it.
First, how boring would that be… but most importantly: You are free.
You can even give it to someone else, or put it in the trash... I would probably think that you missed out, but that's it. Receiving a gift doesn't make you the slave of someone else.
( PS… works with the gift love also… just saying..)
It is the same with what we offer to our students.
With the teaching we are offering, ultimately our students do what they want with it. They take and receive, and act the way they want. They are the boss. We can't say what is good or bad for them. There is no good or bad... there is what is good for them or bad for them, meaning what follows their values or not.
But, please take the responsibility of your own teaching and don’t put our name on your interpretations :D
Of course, if we offer you an umbrella for the rain and you decide to hit your head with it... we won't be impressed. Well, we might even be triggered a bit and roll our eyes! But, that's your responsibility.
In conclusion, as Reiki practitioners, we are certainly not angels because we are practicing Reiki. In some ways we have the best job, where we feel much better after a class than before a class and where the people we work with, helps us to grow… lucky us.
Joey Tribbiani might not have been the smartest guy, but he was pretty wise
About the Author
My name is Frederique Morel. I’m a co-director of the WestCoast Reiki Centre
My background is in software development and I am still a playful geek at heart. I love photography, movies, music hikes in Nature, swimming in cold water and dinner with my friends.
I camp often in the wilderness and travel even more abroad. Home is where my feet are. If you hear a big laugh and a touch of French accent, that might be me.